A mother’s perspective

My daughter Harriet’s recent holiday in Malaysia has been a most enjoyable experience for me. For many years, my health has not allowed me to travel and my Malaysian life has been relegated to the memories section of my personal archives.

I had to leave Malaysia in very unhappy circumstances and the difficulties of restarting life in the UK with two children rather blotted out my years in Malaysia.

Harriet’s travels have allowed me to think of all the wonderful times we spent in that country.As she was aware how much I would have liked to do the trip myself she went to great lengths to keep me informed of the progress of her holiday.

We lived in a most beautiful house on a hillside above Kuala Lumpur but the children were teenagers and did the teenager thing. Dropping things everywhere and untidy bedrooms. I would not have thought the house meant anything to the kids; I was touched when I realised the lengths Harriet went to in finding the house in a district which must have changed so much over the years.

Being woken up at 6.30 am one morning with Harriet saying “quick Mother, where is the Polo Club?” was exciting. As the only car driver then I was much more aware of road names and I was able to give her the necessary information as long forgotten names came back into my mind. I felt a bit strange when I put the phone down as I realised I could picture exactly where she was.

Since Harriet returned home we have spent some lovely times reminising. Every so often Harriet says, “it’s nothing like it was when we were there. No kampongs (villages) on the edge of KL. You just wouldn’t know where you were.”
What a wonderful thing this holiday has been. Meaning different things to several people, and waking up memories hidden away because of pain, which are now pleasurable to remember. Even though I haven’t traveled there myself this time, sharing Harriet’s experience has enabled me to make peace with some of my own difficult memories and to feel much more comfortable about being away from the beautiful country that was my home for six years.