Accepting the unpleasant inevitable

This post wrote itself, really, on the way to my yoga class today, and I chose the photo because it feels really calm. It’s a calm place, the marshes where I walk the dog, about 15 minutes from home. Of course it’s looking a bit different down there at the moment because of the snow and ice.

Anyway, back to yoga. I often say that, although I hardly worry at all about big things now, and certainly not for long, I do often worry about being late. I don’t like it, it feels stressful, and I really dislike walking into anywhere after the time I am supposed to be there. Well, today I had arranged to take the Teenager and the bass player in his band to a rehearsal on the way to yoga. I thought I had allowed enough time to get them loaded up, drive to the rehearsal venue (drummer’s house) and get to the gym.

I was wrong. Teenager was ready pretty much on time, but then disappeared into the bass player’s house when we got there. Eventually they came out and both got into the car, at which time the bass player realised he had forgotten his bass and had to go back for it. By this time we were 15 minutes behind schedule and I was getting a little tense.

I ought to say that I do like to get to yoga quite early so that I can find my favourite spot, get my mat out and settle down before the place gets too full of people, and be nice and calm by the time the opening relaxation starts. At the time I would like to be unrolling my mat, I was sitting in the car outside the drummer’s house waiting for the instruments to be unloaded – carefully, they are musicians and nothing is haphazard!

I’m a sensible driver and the conditions aren’t great so I set off on the final leg at a reasonable pace but kept looking at the clock in the car to check just how late I was going to be. Half a mile from my destination, I remembered (duh!) that I have a whole collection of tools that I can use when worry is getting the better of me. I realised that I was so stressed because I was fighting with the idea of being late. I wasn’t accepting it, and this was making me so uncomfortable. I knew what to do! I said out loud “yes, I am late, and I don’t like it”, and I nodded my head up and down. The nodding really does make a difference.

Everything changed. I knew I was late and I knew I didn’t like it, but I wasn’t fighting with reality any more. I parked, walked in, and found that the class hadn’t quite started yet, although there were a lot of people there and my favourite spot had gone. Calmly, I started to set up in a corner when someone said, “here, I’ll move over a bit and you can have your normal place”. How nice! It only took me a few minutes to let everything go and let the class work its miracles on me.

If you are stressed, or worried, or anxious, it’s always worth asking yourself, like I did this morning, whether there is something you cannot change, that you’re not accepting. And, if you then do accept it (I recommend saying “yes” and nodding) you may still not like the situation you are in, but you won’t be adding to that problem by trying to change reality. Believe me, I’ve tried to do that for years with zero success! Today I ask you simply to remember my little story, put it away somewhere for when you are stressed or worried, and give it a try. What harm can it do? Namaste.