Photo by Andra C Taylor Jr on Unsplash
The pattern is new in every moment
T.S. Eliot – East Coker
My year of exploring middle age, age and ageing taught me to understand the importance of change.
Every single moment, the world is changing. Everything around us, earth, air, water, plants, even mountains, is in a state of transition. Growing, diminishing, altering. We, ourselves, from the moment we start to exist, constantly transform.
Only judgement, only thought, decides that some changes are good and some are bad. Desperate for control, we try to make sense of the world, of ourselves, so we make decisions. This birth is good; this death is bad. I am looking forward to being sixteen; I am dreading reaching sixty.
Change is hard to accept, especially when we are grasping for security, stability, safety. But often, it’s not the change that causes our suffering, but our inability to accept.
I may wish for fixity, but would happiness even exist in a fixed world?
I imagine security, stability; I reach out for them, mocking shadows, and stumble, grasping only air.
I catch my breath – in, out – in, out – my only home, created from change.
