I can’t think of anything more powerful than the practice of gratitude. Adopting an attitude of gratitude can make any day better, but in times of crisis it can literally be a life saver.
When my current big problem started to come to light I was, mercifully, already practicing gratitude on a daily basis. It’s been part of my spiritual life for some time, but this year I decided to make it a daily habit. I keep a notebook next to my bed, and every morning I write half a page. The first thing I write, every day, is “woke up”. Then I follow it with a list of other things I may FEEL grateful for or just things I could BE grateful for. At night, I finish the page, very often filling it with all sorts of things that happened during the day that I could appreciate.
This is crucial, and I feel so many people misunderstand the practice of gratitude and suffer as a result. It would be disastrous if we all just waited to FEEL grateful before we made a gratitude list, or expressed our gratitude in any way. My approach is that all we need is the willingness to list the things we could feel grateful for (beware of oughts and shoulds; be kind to yourself!). If we have this willingness, we are creating a shift in our minds which is the beginning of a new perspective. And with a new perspective our whole experience of life can change. So, I kept making my list and practising gratitude for being alive, even when I didn’t feel it.
Then, when I realised how big the big problem was, I made a big effort to say thank you for the problem. Yep, that’s right, I’ve been told over and over for years by a couple of special people that when something bad happens you say thank you for it. Of course it helps if you can accept some concept of a higher power, such as God, the Universe, or Nature. Something or someone to say thank you to. I’m good at following instructions so I tried to say thank you, even though I couldn’t see what I might be grateful for. I even got as far as being able to say “perhaps this is the best thing that could possibly have happened”, even though I was really depressed and anxious and it seemed like a huge crisis. It wasn’t long before this approach, along with several others in my Dealing with Big Problems toolkit, started to turn things around and I began to feel better. Now, I feel great!
I’m sure there are clever people who could tell you how all this works, but my focus is all on the fact that it does work. I say thank you (to God in my case, but it doesn’t matter who I thank really) for the big problem itself, for the pain, and the turmoil it causes. And I continue to practice gratitude throughout every day, both in writing and in my mind whenever I remember. For all sorts of things, big and little. And do you know what? My big problem hasn’t changed; in fact as time has gone on some of the aspects have seemed to get worse, as we realised that certain avenues were closed to us, and as people have withdrawn their initial help and support. What has changed, though, is me. I have learned so much already in the four months since this crisis began, and my state of mind has improved so much, that I really and honestly would not now wish that it hadn’t happened. So the gratitude that at first I expressed through gritted teeth, the gratitude that I couldn’t see any foundation for at all, is now genuine. My big problem is indeed possibly one of the best things that could possibly have happened.
So this is my message for Sunday: say thank you. Say thank you for big things and little ones. Say thank you for the good things, certainly, but also for the “bad” things, as every problem brings gifts; we just have to be willing to look for them. The practice of gratitude is a wonderful thing to have in your toolkit for dealing with a crisis, as well as an amazing life enhancer for every day of your life. Don’t miss out on it – I’m so grateful that I haven’t!
