Does the Maverick Bluestocking Make a Difference?

Today Spiritual Badass bloggers are asked how we use our gifts to help others and the world or how we use our spiritual gifts to change lives and make a difference. My first reaction on reading this topic was that I would write about something entirely different. My second was that this was the very reason why I should tackle the suggested subject!

My first difficulty was the assumption that I have ‘spiritual gifts,’ or gifts of any sort, in fact. I am blessed with a clever brain and the ability to write clearly. People have told me that I am a calming influence. Beyond those qualities, however, my inherent conditioning still prefers me to see myself as nothing out of the ordinary.

The second hurdle I ran into was the concept of making a difference. I’ve been taught by the culture I am a part of to downplay my influence and not to notice when what I do creates some sort of effect. And if I do notice, to play it down.

The third problem that I created all by myself was to decide that, just for me, if I was going to write about this topic I would have to position my answer in the future. For example, to talk about what I am aiming, aspiring, hoping, striving to do in terms of making a difference. This was based on the assumption that I am not doing anything of worth right now.

Armed with these three blocks, I re-read the questions. I decided that I would write a post assuming that I do have gifts and abilities that are special and unique to me, and that I would deliberately notice, from my memory, things that have been said and demonstrated that show me my own influence in the world. And, probably most importantly, I decided that I would write the post about what is happening now rather than what I am hoping might happen in future. So here goes.

My ‘proper’ job is in criminal justice, representing suspects who are being investigated by the police. For this work, I have to use my professional knowledge and skills. Sometimes I am able to help people as a result. I know, however, that it is just as important, sometimes more so, that I take my whole self into this job. I have been told many times that I calm people down, help them feel better and make an unbearable ordeal more bearable. Aha, making a difference using my calm energy and compassion.

As anyone reading my posts will realise, writing is almost like breathing for me. I blog a lot, am always working on more than one book, and write all the time in many different journals. I tend to avoid calling my writing ‘work’ because it has yet to generate what looks like a respectable income. I have to continue to do it, though, mainly because I feel compelled so share what I have learned through adversity, research and contemplation, about life and how it can be lived most joyfully. I have many, many plans for various writing projects which, right now, feel like wading through very thick treacle with wellies (rubber boots) on, because my health and life circumstances mean I can be short of energy and time. But, most days when I am writing regularly and posting in social media, someone says something grateful to me about my writing. Sometimes, they report that their day has turned around or they have seen something differently because of something I wrote. That not only makes it all worthwhile but it tells me I have to keep on doing what I am doing.

Now, meditation. This is the hardest one to talk about in the present because, although I have just qualified to teach Mind Calm, I am yet to establish myself as a practitioner. I’ve done my case studies and I frequently share my own experience, but it’s all too easy to claim that I haven’t done anything yet to make a difference in this area. That, actually, is not true. Several of the people who allowed me to work with them for my case studies have said how much things have changed for them already. And most of the people I know are aware of my abilities and my passionate wish to share what I know. And, most importantly, I know that my own practice makes a difference because I am creating peaceful energy and because without my own personal practice I will have nothing to pass on to others.

So. having looked at all that as honestly as I can, it is clear that I do make a difference just by being me, almost without being able to help it. I want people to read what I have written, and listen to what I am saying, and to feel more ok about themselves, more peaceful and more loved. It does happen, quite possibly more than I realise. As far as the future is concerned, I just need to continue being myself and allowing this to happen more and more.