Eight ways to tackle over-thinking

I’m not really one for “10 reasons to…” or “5 ways you can…” type posts but today I got onto the topic of compulsive thinking, AKA mulling, dwelling, worrying , analysing, etc, and challenged myself to see how many strategies I could think of to zap this energy-draining habit. I found eight. It’s something I have been working on and talking about for decades, and is a frequent subject of conversation, so these suggestions just might be of interest.

Take action: sometimes when we are worried, anxious or anticipating something, there is action we can take that will dissipate some of that thinking. It may be a very small thing, like writing a to do list instead of trying to remember several tasks, or something much bigger like apologising for something we regret or getting down to something we have been procrastinating about. The key is to ask ourselves: “is there some action I could take, which would allow me to let go of some of this thinking?”

Share: the old saying is “a problem shared is a problem halved” and that holds a lot of truth. It helps to talk. Knowing that someone else is aware of your worries can make those worries less powerful. The person we talk to may also be able to provide some helpful perspective. Make sure you choose the right person!

Write it down: writing can also take the power out of a problem. Just listing our concerns or the things we have to do (see above) may help us stop mulling over them. If someone has hurt or upset us, we can write them a letter that we don’t intend to send, describing our feelings honestly. We can either burn this or keep it somewhere safe so it doesn’t fall into the wrong hands. Many people find keeping a journal really helpful for downloading fears, anxieties, worries, all the things that keep us awake at night.

Get interested: one of the most difficult times to control our thinking is when we have time to fill, such as when driving, waiting or doing a repetitive task like ironing or decorating. Music is great, but I always suggest a talking radio station in the car if someone has a very busy head. It gives us something to concentrate on, get involved in, and provides some much needed respite from all those whirring thoughts.

Exercise: it really does work. I can go for a run with a jumbled head and come back with a much clearer one, and a brisk walk helps almost as much. Everyone is different, and we all have a type of exercise that we enjoy and works best for us – sometimes we have to experiment a bit! This is a great quick fix but it takes faith because it doesn’t feel as if it will make any difference!

Have a default topic: this is one of my favourites. For some time now, every night I have chosen a topic that I will switch to for the next 24 hours if I don’t like what my thinking is doing. It has to be something positive; sometimes I will choose to think of something nice someone has said, or an uplifting thought or affirmation, and I’ve explored visualising lovely things like butterflies and meadows. This is very personal, but so worth experimenting with. It’s a simple way of learning to discipline our minds to focus on something pleasant when we are having trouble with our thinking.

Get present: when we are mulling over regrets or resentments we are stuck in the past, and when we are feeling anxious and worried we are usually projecting ourselves into the future. The only time that is real is NOW, and we are often missing it, which means we are missing our lives. With practice, becoming present can get easier and easier; life becomes richer and more enjoyable, and the past and future lose their power over us. Focus on your breath, really feel your hands and feet and notice your surroundings in detail. When your thoughts wander off, do it again.

Let go: easier said than done but so important. Hanging on to resentment, worry, regret and anxiety uses a lot of energy and is generally bad for us. Everyone needs to find their own favourite technique, but this is mine: I visualise a tube train and put the thing I want to let go of (thought, worry, person, whatever) on to the train and watch the doors close and the train move off into blackness. I try to let it go into the tunnel without hanging on to it. This can result in quite an empty feeling, which is fine, that’s letting go!

These ideas can be used together, separately or one after the other. After taking action, for example, it’s often necessary to let go. Or you can exercise and use your default topic at the same time.

So those are my eight strategies, but there must be lots more ways to slow down or stop over-thinking. I’d love to hear how everyone deals with this – please leave a comment!