This jolly looking propeller plane means two different things to me. First, it reminds me that, in the first half of 2014, I will be going on an amazing trip to the Far East, visiting my teenage home for the first time as an adult. This holiday is an incredibly generous gift and I am looking forward to it enormously. Secondly, however, I look at this picture with some trepidation because of my long-standing fear of flying. You can read more about it and how it arose here.
During the forthcoming trip, we will be taking a total of five flights. Two of them will be the long haul, 12 to 13 hour slogs from London to Singapore and back. And the other three will be short hops on planes like this one. I have never been on a propeller plane before so it will be a new experience. Also, I have never flown that much in so short a time before, although I have flown an awful lot having lived in Asia, and even at one time attending boarding school in the UK and flying out for the holidays.
And I have always found flying difficult, sometimes even terrifying. Sure, I have come a long way. The Virgin Atlantic Fear of Flying Course helped quite a lot, and learning to meditate helped more. But during the last few days I made a decision that, this time, I want to choose to feel differently about flying. In the space of two and a half days I read no less than four books on fear of flying and learned a lot more than I already knew about how planes work and how safe they are. I have spent quite some time watching YouTube videos of Boeing 777s and Airbus A380s taking off, and the insides of the cabins, to try and make it all more familiar. I even got to the point where I was bored watching the videos which I took to be a good sign!
I’ve had some good advice with suggestions for NLP visualisations to help desensitise me. If my schedule and my finances allowed, of course I would arrange to work with someone to try and knock this on the head but that’s not possible so I am going forwards gently by myself.
Probably my biggest influence in all of this is Richard Wilkins and his message, ‘what would you choose?’ Of course I would not choose to have panic attacks on take-off, to have to work to control my terror throughout a long flight (as I did when I flew out to Dubai at short notice to see my father when he was very ill last year) or to experience flying as a necessary evil to get to far away places. If I could choose, I would want to feel excited and exhilarated about flying. I would choose to find all the enjoyable aspects of it that I could, and to see it as part of the adventure. I would choose to trust the pilots, the cabin crew, the engineers and the air traffic controllers, and give up my compulsion to try and fly the plane myself!
And the great thing is that now I know that I can actually choose myself how I want to feel. I know that the more often I fly the less afraid I am, so I have decided that my fear is more of a habit than a phobia. And 2014 is my chance to let go of that bad habit and open a new chapter. After all, I have nothing to lose; at the very worst, I will be as afraid as I was last time, and on that occasion I still arrived at the other end. But there’s a good chance that my decision to choose will work, and I will have a better time. I will let you know!
Meanwhile, I would love to hear who else is afraid of flying, and why. Don’t worry, you won’t scare me any more than I have already been scared, and actually swapping experiences can really help, if done in a positive way. For example, a few weeks ago I was having lunch with a group of women and found that two of my neighbours were also fearful fliers, but we were all afraid of different aspects: mine is taking off, one of the ladies was claustrophobic and the other was scared of turbulence. So don’t be afraid to share, and keep an eye out for more posts as I blog on my progress and the things I am learning. Thanks for reading x
What I like having read your blog for a good while now, is the way you do indeed ‘choose’ to do things, and I like the way you have approached this.
Reading the post I was struck with a thought. What do hospitals, dentists and airports have in common? Well, they can all bring on a fear in people, but here’s the thought i had – they all have distinctive smells. Very distinctive, strong smells that we don’t normally encounter anywhere else.
I would suggest if you had time that in addition to the great work you have done, it might be helpful to go to an airport to get yourself used to the smell.
If you don’t manage to do that, at least if you notice the smell, you can let it trigger this comment, and then tie that in to all the good work you have done, and all will be well! Happy New Year, have a lovely trip!
Cheers, Gordon
Thank you Gordon what a lovely comment. And also a very good idea. I had been thinking about visiting Stansted or Southend to watch the planes so I will definitely schedule it in and take in the unusual aroma. Pity they don#t do ‘eau de plane’ so we could get used to the actual cabin smell too! Happy new year to you and thanks for all your support during the year :-)
Hi Harriet,
Effective help is available at http://www.fearofflying.com where we have a lot of free help, videos, articles, etc.
Also, get the free app at http://www.fearofflying.com/app as it includes a g-force meter that measures the forces turbulence is placing on the plane when you fly, and it will prove the plane is not in any danger, and that the plane is not falling.
I spent thirty years specializing in the treatment of fear of flying both as an airline pilot and a licensed therapist. What I’ve learned is now in my book, SOAR, The Breakthrough Treatment for Fear of Flying.
It is what the title says – a genuine breakthrough that allows people who “tried everything” and failed to fly with complete success.
Wow, thanks for visiting and commenting! I will check out all those resources.