Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash
I was a home educating single mum for about six years. I say ‘about’ because once you’ve started home educating, it never really stops. My son went to college over five years ago but I still correct his grammar and explain things to him, and he still asks me for spellings.
Most home educators make the decision to undertake this different lifestyle, either due to some sort of challenging issue or because they want their children to have a different education. See my blog post from 2012 which explains some of our journey. Right now, however, families everywhere are contemplating the possibility that their children will suddenly be at home for an extended period. If this happens, it won’t be a choice, it won’t be exciting and there may be all sorts of worries. I am here to share some of what I learned and maybe answer some questions.
The idyllic picture of a home educating family, happily sitting round a table writing stories together, skipping through meadows and practising scales on the piano, all smiles and floral dresses, is just that, an image. It’s not really like that. Educating your kids at home, or if you choose ‘autonomous education,’ helping your kids to educate themselves, challenges you in all sorts of ways.
Home educators learn to deal with uncertainty, risk and mess. Home educated kids learn that their parents are fallible and don’t know it all. Families have to work out their conflicts themselves and through those experiences and shared learning stronger bonds are forged. A home educating journey teaches everyone involved to be creative, innovative, patient, forgiving and empathetic.
But if you want to learn these things, and you want your kids to learn them, you want to make the choice, not have it made for you. I know. This may be difficult and frightening. Over the next few weeks I’ll share ideas and tips but for now, here are five things you need to know right away.
- Your house will be messy. Whatever your home looks like now, prepare yourself for it to be messier. Way messier. It’s the least of your worries. Home educators generally agree that there is no way to have this lifestyle and have a tidy house. Keep it clean, by all means, but don’t stress about mess.
- Arguments happen. You will spend much more time together than you are used to. You love each other. They will blow over.
- Some of us don’t like routine, and many of us don’t need too much of it. Most people I’ve talked to imagine that home educating means half an hour of maths followed by half an hour of reading, then a break and some geography. That’s home schooling. You don’t have to make it like school for kids to learn. If your children want to arrange the day like that, then by all means adopt a routine. But just as many adults work in a more fluid way, for example doing some accounts until they are finished (or until they can’t stand it any more), then working on a project until the sun shines and they want to go outside, this can work very well for kids too. There are no rules. Do what suits you.
- Your garden is your friend. If you are lucky enough to have an outside space, make the most of it. Fresh air is free and we all need lots of it. Same as with the house, expect it to get messy. For years my garden was a skate park and many pots were broken. I also had a handyman on speed dial to come and mend the kitchen window when it was smashed during baseball games…
- Children learn invisibly. Right at the beginning of our journey, a veteran home educating mum said to me that she believed children are learning whenever their eyes are open. Most of the time, my son didn’t look as if he was learning. Skateboarding, playing guitar, lying on the sofa, playing with the dog, that’s what it looked like. But somehow, invisibly, he learned huge amounts of history, picked up a lot of philosophy and learned to write extremely well. His maths is better than mine. Learning is like magic. Trust the magic.
Those are just the things that come to mind most readily today. I have plenty to share, so please come and join me on Facebook or Twitter so you don’t miss any posts. And if you have any questions, ask me in the comments below or on social media.
