How our thinking can impact our eating

Today it’s a privilege to bring you a guest post from Ani Richardson, whose book on emotional eating, Love or Diet, will soon be published. This is a subject that affects many of us in one way or another, and Ani’s wisdom and compassion is much needed.

Have you ever stopped to listen to your thoughts? To observe them? To be witness to them? Are your thoughts about yourself gentle, kind and loving or are they critical and harsh? In my forthcoming book, Love or Diet, I write about how our thinking can lead us to emotional eating as a misguided source of comfort.

Take a moment to imagine yourself standing on the bank of a river; the rushing water represents your thoughts. You watch these thoughts go by, some are empowering, e.g. ‘what a beautiful day,’ ‘I am so excited about finishing that project,’ ‘I am looking forward to Katie coming over for lunch,’ some are disempowering, e.g. ‘it’s awful being stuck inside when the sun is out,’ ‘this project is taking ages and is so draining,’ ‘I can’t cope with Katie coming for lunch, I hate eating with people.’

Notice this stream of thoughts without judgment. Just notice, be interested. Often there is an ‘inner critic’ or saboteur shouting inside, ‘you’re fat, ugly, lazy, going nowhere, doing it all wrong, a loser, you can’t change, you’ll never do it right.’ This critic drowns out the gentle, kind and loving voice which whispers, ‘you are enough, you are loved, you are doing so well, I love you.’

Too often we fall into the river and get swept away, we become so stressed and entangled in the thoughts that we believe they are real and that in some way we are the thoughts. The stress of listening to all this inner criticism can lead to eating, often unconsciously, as a way to cope.

Taking just a few moments each day to observe your thinking is very empowering, you begin to realise that you are not your thoughts, you are the observer, the witness, the awareness itself and, with practice, you can watch the thoughts go by without reacting to them.

When you begin to notice the inner unrest take time to pause and breathe, create a gap between you as the observer and the thoughts that arise. You are not a slave to your thinking mind. Be curious with your thoughts, notice how you react. Noticing is the first step, it is a powerful step. From this pausing place you can begin to practice choosing empowering thoughts. You may well find that you can choose not to eat and instead you can experiment with other self-soothing strategies such as taking a walk, phoning a trusted friend, journaling, creating or simply sitting to watch nature.

Disempowering thoughts might sound something like this:
I will never be able to stop comfort eating;
I am giving up chocolate forever;
I should go to the gym every day;
I am worthless;
I cannot cope with life;
When I stop comfort eating I can be happy;
Eating is my only comfort and my only joy

We can choose more loving thoughts such as these:
I deeply and completely love and accept myself;
I can learn something from this;
I now see how I can do things differently;
I am safe; I now do something to take care of myself;
I appreciate myself;
I am loved;
Everything I need to know is revealed to me;
I can comfort myself with love.

The practice of pausing and choosing empowering thoughts can take time but with time and repetition it becomes easier and more natural and running to food becomes less and less of a coping mechanism. The key is to be gentle with yourself along the way, treat yourself the way you would treat a daughter or a best friend. Self criticism and judgement really won’t help solve a war with food. Love and kindness toward ourselves can ultimately lead to the sweet freedom we seek.

Ani Richardson is a highly qualified nutritionist, meditation teacher, writer and founder of Nurture With Love (www.nurturewithlove.com). Ani provides holistic wellness support for women choosing to explore and transform their emotional eating patterns. Her message, e-package and support sessions are reaching the hearts of women across the globe and centre around the importance of self-love and nurturance. Connect with Ani on Facebook (www.facebook.com/nurturewithlove.com). Ani has written a book ‘Love or Diet’ (www.loveordiet.com) which will be published in May/June 2013.