While most of the country is covered in snow and some of it is on red alert, we are still waiting for the hazardous conditions to reach us here. It’s the driest part of the country here on the East coast of Essex, so it makes sense that we get less snow sometimes. It’s coming though. The school buses delivered our secondary school kids home at lunchtime so the schools must have closed in readiness.
And I know it’s on its way because I have a pressure headache and feel very low. At first I listened to those voices. You know, the ones that tell you that whatever you are doing is rubbish: “what are you doing, Harriet, people don’t want to know how to stop worrying, most of them don’t worry much and the ones that do, they enjoy it!” Blah, blah, blah. Then, luckily I needed to get out in the very very cold air to walk the dog, and as usual the open spaces and the icy countryside popped some sense into my head. I remembered that I don’t react well to snow and realised that these thoughts were just the result of some physical change, pressure or something.
I’m grateful that I know my thinking is not me. I am not my thinking. I first understood this from reading Eckhart Tolle’s Power of Now, and these days it seems obvious. Funny that it was new information a few years ago. These negative thoughts and beliefs come from what Richard Wilkins calls my script, that file of information I lug around with me, informed by my ancestors, parents, family, school, peers, life experiences etc etc. Richard says, the bad news is you can’t change your script, but the good news is everyone has one (they’re invisible aren’t they?) and you can learn to ignore it a lot of the time. Before I heard Richard speak and read his partner Liz Ivory’s book, It’s not your fault, I’d simply have attributed this package of negativity to my ego, and some of my “isms”, which probably amounts to the same thing. Whatever you call it, fortunately I remembered to ignore it and just accept that I feel a little low. Due to inclement weather conditions.
I’m off to chop some kindling and ensure the car is ok, then have a good anti-worry workout while the Teenager plays at a gig 20 miles away. I might suggest they take a shovel along with the guitars and amps!
While I’m doing that let me ask you to do something. I’d love you to leave me a comment, letting me know whether you find it easy to ignore those negative voices, and please tell me if snow gives you a headache and glum feeling as well – it’s great not to feel alone!
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