Listen to Mother

Yesterday I talked to my mother, Caroline, who was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis 23 years ago, about the Paralympic Games. I thought it might be interesting to share her perspective and how the Games affected her self image.

Harriet: We both enjoyed the Olympics but this was the first time we had such comprehensive coverage of the Paralympics. Were you surprised at how involved you became in watching the Paralympic Games?

Caroline: No not really because with other Olympics when we’ve had just small snatches of news about the Paralympics I’ve always wanted to see more, particularly the dressage. And the swimming.

Harriet: Do you think the dressage was what you enjoyed most?

Caroline: Yes I think it was because having extensive knowledge of horses it was my thing and I could be right in there feeling it as they did it.

Harriet: Do you think that your knowledge of equestrianism afforded you a greater appreciation of the achievements of the Paralympic riders?

Caroline: Oh absolutely. It almost made me feel that I could be doing it with them. I knew what it took to achieve some of the movements but when I saw a person with only one arm or one leg doing it I was bowled over with admiration for them. What I was so impressed about was that the spectators had been asked not to clap at the end of the performance because of upsetting the horses and they just waved their hands until the horse had left the dressage arena and had been collected by a groom and then they roared their approval.

Harriet: Some of the Paralympic dressage tests looked quite simple compared with the Olympic ones; with inside knowledge of the sport would you say that this impression is deceptive?

Caroline: Yes. Anyone not familiar with the sport would think that it was just an easy test and anyone could do it. But here again the disabilities made it amazing how they managed the horses. To the layman, a simple exercise like the horse walking forwards looks easy, but the judges require the horse to be balanced and pick its feet up properly and stop and start at certain points. The rider has to make this happen using their seat, legs and hands, and if these resources are limited, obviously it’s much more of a challenge.

Harriet: And you said you were looking forward to the swimming?

Caroline: Yes. I was amazed by the way that the amputee swimmers were able to compensate once they were in the water and used the limbs they had to such effect. We don’t often see people who are missing limbs wearing swimming costumes; I found it interesting that, after watching for two weeks, I stopped noticing the disabilities of the swimmers, and indeed of all the athletes, and just saw the person.

Harriet: Do you think you became less interested in their back story and more interested in their sporting achievements?

Caroline: Absolutely. I just saw them as athletes.

Harriet: As someone in the disabled community yourself, how did the experience of watching the Paralympics affect you?

Caroline: I marvelled at the strength and stamina of the athletes and realised the limitations of my disability, which is accompanied by severe fatigue. I know I couldn’t even have started, well in fact I wouldn’t even have managed the journey to the Stadium.

It really made me feel filled up to see people who have had all sorts of challenges in life achieving such wonderful things; not just those that won medals, but all of the athletes who made it to the Games. I got a huge feeling of strength from that I think.

Harriet: Didn’t it make you feel sorry for yourself that you have limitations which mean that you can’t push your body as much as you would like to?

Caroline: No. Because on the whole I feel that I’m doing the very best that I can and presenting a cheerful face to the world; I do work hard at seeing my glass half full rather than half empty. Sometimes vacuum cleaning the sitting room is my Paralympics. Watching the Games did inspire me to think on occasions that I could do that little bit more, even though my legs or arms might not want to or there is pain.

One thing it leaves me feeling is that I hope that in four years time we get similar coverage of the Paralympics as we did this year because there are people I want to see again.

Harriet: How about the fact that there was so much less TV coverage than the Olympics, and much less interest in the general population?

Caroline: Yes. It should have been on the BBC, with more dedicated live channels, so you could watch one sport continuously, and you didn’t always know if what you were watching was live. I think Channel 4 did as well as they were able and The Last Leg was really good. I enjoyed the irreverence with which the presenters treated each other. I think Clare Balding did a wonderful job as well.

I got the impression from people that I spoke to that not so many were interested as in the Olympics or that perhaps they thought they couldn’t cope with it which is sad.

I felt a strength from the attitude of the Paralympic athletes; they were real, down to earth people and there was nothing precious about them. There was much more humour in the Paralympics than the Olympics.

Harriet: As a member of the disabled community, how did it make you feel about the place of that community in our society?

Caroline: I hope that it’s given the place of people with disabilities a bit of a boost and perhaps taken a bit of fear away when it comes to the general public.

Harriet: What about children?

Caroline: I think that for children with disabilities its been very important for them to see what they could achieve, and also it’s important for the parents of those children to realise that their own children could achieve some of these things. Or in fact anything else they want to try and do. It’s also been extremely important for children without disabilities, and I thought it was excellent that so many parents took their children to watch the Paralympics and perhaps those children will grow up being different people now and not park in disabled driving bays!

Harriet: So all in all, positive?

Caroline: It was a much greater experience than I expected. I found it inspiring, and it didn’t make me feel at all envious. I just thought “good on them!”