Do you make lists? I have always liked making lists and it’s a habit that has its pros and cons. Everyone knows it’s a good idea to make a shopping list, so we don’t forget the things we really need and to prevent us buying lots of things we don’t! And decision making can often be aided by taking a large sheet of paper, drawing a line down the middle and writing all the reasons for a choice on one side and all the reasons against that choice on the other. Then weighing it all up. Long, impossible to-do lists, that sit around unticked for ages can really be depressing, however, as can lists of things we want to do to improve ourselves but know will never materialis, so I do think it pays to know which lists work for you and which ones don’t.
These days, when I make to-do lists they are reasonable, and often contain some really easy tasks that I am absolutely sure I will do so that I get a nice satisfied feeling ticking them off quickly. I have been known to put things on the list that I have already done so I can tick them off straight away! In general, the lists I make for myself are kinder, more realistic and shorter than they used to be. I’ve also learned to list intentions rather than resolutions, at New Year or any other time. It’s a gentler, less sabotage-prone way of setting goals.
I’ve listed my resentments, my fears and the people I have had to make amends to, and I continue to do those lists whenever I feel the need. This may seem rather negative but, when properly supported and done without blame in any direction, these actions can lead to freedom and peace of mind – it’s certainly worked with me, up to now.
If you are a list maker, then there are some lists you just make for fun. I spent over a year up to this January listing things I could include in my big 2012 celebration of being 50. That’s been quite exciting; many of them have been ticked off and some are still to do. Some won’t happen for various reasons and that’s ok too. During this year I have also been listing many of my different ways of celebrating. Every single day I have read at least one poem and I have listed them all. I’ve no idea what I will do with that list but it’s become imperative that I do it and not at all a burden. I’m also listing the books I read and the films I watch. I had the intention to read 50 books and watch 50 movies but I’m not sure how far I will get with that (I haven’t counted them yet). I’m more likely to succeed with the books. All this is a bit of fun but it’s also part of becoming more purposeful and recognising my achievements as I go along. It works for me and I am sure there are other people it could make a difference to, as well.
I’ve been prompted recently, by my coach Rosemary Cunningham, to make some lists. One of the most interesting was a list of 30 things my clients get from my services. Always keen to complicate matters and make more work for myself, I decided to make three lists. One for my professional clients, one for my lifestyle type writing and one for my professional writing (still in its infancy but well worth taking into consideration). Having to list 30 things was a challenge but that was what made it so interesting. Once I had listed the six or seven obvious things, such as “knowledge” and “advice” I had to dig a bit deeper and really ask myself what it is about me that is special and adds something extra. I was fascinated to find that these items were the same on each list. Several of them were about compassion, respect, humour and relationships.
This tells me that what is special about my contribution is actually…me. I have ended up listing my personal qualities as well as my expertise. It’s been a very useful exercise; for someone who habitually downplays their worth, and is reluctant to push themselves forward, it really helps to recognise unique gifts and value.
I am sure there will be many more lists as I continue on my spiritual path and with my personal development. And there will be many more of the shopping, packing, house-cleaning and family-management variety. They just need to be realistic and positive!
Are the lists you are making serving you? Do you need to make more lists? Fewer? Or a different kind? I’d love to know what works for you and if you plan to make changes.
Had to chuckle about the bit about writing things on the list you’ve already done and then ticking them off….it seems I am not alone then! I find ticking things off a list hugely motivating and it spurs me on to do more. I make sure I include a few things I would have done anyway e.g. make myself a coffee on days when I am struggling to get some momentum going. I also recommend letting go of lists that are not moving/progressing and re-evaluting your goals on the list. Nothing more demoralising that having a list on the kitchen counter that’s festering and not going anywhere. Bin it. Start again.
Great advice, thank you!
I love lists! I even play games and have rules with mine. OK, type A here! Anyway, I actually like the negative list you write about. If you list everyone who has done you wrong, forgive them, then throw the list away (or burn it), it’s very symbolic and does wonders for your soul. Nice post!
Yes, throwing away, preferably tearing to shreds first, burning or letting it float down the stream or into the sea are all wonderful ways of letting go. Thank you for your comment.
Love the idea of making lists of what I do for my clients. Even the word lists has brought up a knot in my tummy. After reading your insightful words I feel better and the knot dissolved. Thanks for great info. Making my list now.
How wonderful to hear that. I am sure you will come up with some gems.