Feminine energy? Ooh sounds a bit lightweight doesn’t it? Something to do with pink and fluffy, girl power, or, at best, earth-mothers and matriarchs…? Well, I’ve been learning some interesting things recently and have revised my attitudes.
In the past I’ve spent time polarised at both extremes: my creative, intuitive, feminine right-brain and my logical, analytical, masculine left brain. Our society tells us that left-brain thinking and masculine energy is better, stronger, superior, and we tend to perpetuate this. I certainly have, until quite recently.
Taking time out to heal from ME gave me the opportunity to spend more free-form time, to resurrect my creativity and to connect with other women who want success, but in a feminine way. And during this process I realised I felt more alive, in tune and definitely more myself. Intuition and feeling, as well as logical thinking, have become more of a priority for me. This has been quite a discovery. I just thought, for a long time, that it was better to be driven, hard-working, rational and serious. To eschew frills, frivolity and feelings. What I didn’t know, however, was that living this way was keeping me shut off from an essential and significant part of me.
This left me with a dilemma. How could I reconcile the serious lawyer, who wants to write about weighty issues such as criminal justice, with the unconventional, scatty, meditating, poetry-reading woman who wants to write in an intuitive, heart-centred way about wellbeing and spirituality? My head, and my ingrained beliefs, told me I should stick with the former persona if I wanted to be taken seriously, but my heart was drawn to the second, softer me.
An amazing and wise woman suggested that, while writing and writing to locate my authentic voice, I “play with the intellectual stuff”. Play. Now, there’s a term I’m beginning to understand. I’ve written about the importance of play and no doubt I will again. So I just let all my ideas rumble around in my head, read the serious newspapers, continued to explore spiritual and personal development avenues, and waited to see what happened.
I think I may be getting there. This week, a couple of my “Brush with the Law” posts have been about very serious subjects. I wouldn’t have had the material without applying plenty of the intellectual rigour of which I am so proud. But it was me who wrote those pieces. They felt personal, comfortable, and very positive.
So here, I think, is the answer. Gradually, imperceptibly, I’m bringing together my right-brain and left-brain, logical and intuitive, rational and creative. My subject matter is more closely related than it might seem; it’s all about how we can live better, really. Whether I’m talking about the rights of teenagers in police custody or how to thrive in times of personal crisis, it’s all about freedom and…dare I say it…love. I’m wildly excited to see where it all goes, and delighted to know that I don’t have to sacrifice a single bit of me; I can roll it all up together and call it (like in You, Me and Dupree) Harriet-ness.
