Photo by Luz Mendoza on Unsplash
Do you hear people saying, ‘you have to make sacrifices to be successful’?
They may be talking about progressing a career or building a business. You may have said this yourself. I am sure I have. The sacrifices alluded to might be leisure time, vacations, sleep, family time or even health.
Although we know that to achieve anything we have to be committed, use our time well and avoid distractions, the notion that we have to sacrifice things that we value might seem a little harsh. I grew up in a family where a lot was sacrificed for my father’s career. He did very well but having lost our parents in the last few years, my brother and I question whether the losses were worth it. Perhaps we would all have been happier if we’d had more family time, if my father had been at home more and if we had gone to fewer schools.
As for me, I found myself turning this concept on its head and let go of my ambitions for a legal career in order to home educate my son. You could say that I sacrificed my career for family. I must quickly add that I don’t regret this for a moment and would do it all again in a heartbeat.
It’s risky to think in terms of right and wrong, good and bad. Every person is different and so is every family. We might strive for balance but find ourselves constantly moving from one position to another, a little too much of this, then too little of that. We are human and are unlikely to reach perfection or total balance but we may navigate our way through life’s competing demands without reaching extremes too often.
So to get back to the idea of sacrifice – is this an extreme idea or just a reality we need to face?
I’ve had a look at some definitions and I’ve found it helpful to question what we really mean by sacrifice. In current, everyday English, we tend to take the word to mean giving something up, especially something that we value. It comes with a hint of pain, as if the giving up wounds us in some way. This doesn’t sound good, does it?
However, the word sacrifice comes from the Latin words sacra and facere, meaning ‘to perform sacred rites’. This sounds more like a spiritual practice, doesn’t it? And if spiritual practice is an expression of love and devotion, what would it be like to consider our work in these terms? If we love what we do, or are devoted to our mission, project or purpose, then spending time on it and doing without optional pleasures might be seen as sacred work.
There might be times when we make sacrifices for our job or business. We are devoted and committed to what we do because it holds a special purpose for us or even simply because it puts bread on the table. At other times we may make sacrifices for family. Pass up a promotion or opportunity because our child or partner has greater needs or because we know the extra work or travelling will make us too tired to contribute effectively to the family. These may not be easy decisions to make but perhaps seeing the struggle in terms of sacrifice, in the original meaning of the word, could help us to accept it more easily.
If you have made sacrifices and are willing to share, please tell us about it in the comments. Would it help to see those sacrifices as an expression of love and devotion, or as a spiritual practice? Perhaps this is already how you view them?
