In 2009, when my son was 13, I removed him from the local comprehensive school and we began our home education journey. It wasn’t a decision I took lightly. There was long and careful thought, but in the end it felt like my only option.
Most people thought it was a bad idea. I was a single parent, living month-to-month on a self-employed income as a locum solicitor. I was – and am – terrible at Maths.
We did it anyway, and just to pre-empt the questions, it turned out to be the right thing. My son, a musician, is currently at the University of York studying for a Master’s in composition.
Once the decision had been made, however, the doubts persisted. Here are my three biggest fears.
University
My university education is important to me. I read English at Cambridge, then studed Law as a Postgraduate and took my Law Society exams at Anglia Ruskin University. I later completed a Master’s in Law at Anglia Ruskin. I was worried that, by taking my son out of school, I might be depriving him of the privilege of a university education, something which has changed me and for which I will always be grateful.
However, in his own time, my son attended Colchester Institute and gained a diploma in music performance, and then set about applying to conservatoires and universities. This was a journey in itself. Home educated students have to rely more on personal statements and interviews or auditions, if they don’t have lots of qualifications. At this point, all my son had was his diploma, a driving licence and Grade Eight in Guitar. Eventually, he went to the University of Surrey to study Creative Music Composition. This did entail completing a GCSE in Maths in a matter of weeks.
Armed with extraordinary self-discipline, he worked his way through the course and ended up with a First.
My fear about university? Clearly unfounded.
Not Learning Anything
To be honest, a home educated teenage boy can spend a lot of time looking as if he is not learning anything. Apart from regular Music, Maths and Art lessons, we developed a particularly loose timetable. In fact, there wasn’t really a timetable at all.
In his ‘free’ time, my son would be playing music, watching documentaries about history, skateboarding, playing computer games or watching films. He wasn’t keen on reading (see below) and he didn’t do anything that looked like schoolwork.
Most of this has paid off, sometimes in unexpected ways. Of course, a musician needs a lot of practice and home education made that possible. He knows an extraordinary amount of history, especially for someone who left school at 13. He has great balance! He now composes music using complex computer programs and has written film scores.
He also knows a lot about a huge variety of subjects: physics, geography, philosophy, politics. I don’t know exactly how he has gained all this knowledge, but I do know that the acquisition of it has been fuelled by curiosity.
When we first began our home education journey, another home educating mother told me that, ‘when a child’s eyes are open, they are learning.’ I clung on to this idea through those sofa-lounging years despite the nagging fear. He has learnt stuff. You can’t get a First, even in Humanities, without knowing stuff.
Not Reading
For years, my son didn’t seem to read anything. His difficult experience at school seemed to have put him off reading. I did worry about this. Anyone who knows me will know the importance I place on reading. I did realise, however, that it might just put him off even more if I harped on about it.
Gradually, he started to read graphic novels. Those books are expensive! I was pleased, however, and kept shelling out for more. After this, following his interest in history, he picked up The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich. And read it. And kept reading. He knows how important it is to become absorbed in a book. He always gives me books for Christmas and birthdays.
I was worried about reading. I should have been more patient.
In retrospect, I think that fear, doubt and worry were to be expected. Not being worried about these things would have suggested a cavalier attitude, and no one wants to have a cavalier attitude about their child’s education. Other home educating parents will have other worries, and many of them will find that their concerns were unnecessary.
But I wouldn’t advise these parents not to worry. It’s a frightening decision and a frightening experience, if you have done your research and thought deeply. Home educating takes courage and adds grey hairs. But it may well pay off in the end.
