I have eight days of busy…busy…busy coming up so I spent some time planning what I want to blog about for the next little while. I wasn’t taking much notice of which days I had decided to allocate to which subjects, and then I realised I had chosen something about worry and self-care for today. Nothing odd about that, except that last Sunday I wrote about looking after myself through exercise and walking, and deciding not to overdo things. So I guess Sunday must be take-care-of-Harriet day, which is fine by me!
Apart from my recovery from a chronic condition which I talked about last Sunday, why is self-care so important and what does it have to do with worry? Well, once I had performed a 180 degree about-turn regarding self-care, and gone from putting myself last (to be unselfish) to always considering my own needs (so I can be the person that I need to be and that everyone else needs me to be), I started to think…a lot. I mean thinking in a good way, constructively, discovering new and exciting truths. I wondered how many different ways there might be to look after ourselves, and how we might benefit. I looked at the various aspects of my own life and asked myself, ‘how can I look after myself here?’
The answers were fascinating. I found that for every aspect of my life, I have different needs and there are ways in which I can improve how I look after myself. For example, I need to keep up my inspiration levels in order to be able to create. One of the best ways for me to do this – I know, I’ve said it before! – is to walk in the countryside near my home. The photo, taken yesterday, is of the saltmarshes where Alfie and I walk most days. It’s the most incredible, ever-changing, energetic place, and it’s a few minutes’ walk from my back door. If I’m not at home, I try to walk somewhere, to get out in the fresh air, preferably somewhere that feels natural.
My intellect needs taking care of too. Everyone is different, and for me what works is the occasional crossword, which I find relaxing, and, always, reading. I don’t read much fiction because I am very choosy, but I read poetry often and I have favourite authors. I also read a lot about all the subjects that interest me. Reading is like eating for me – I have to do it.
I also need to remember my spiritual needs, and prioritise spending time with like-minded people. I am always happier and healthier if I place my spiritual practices at the top of my to-do list. And of course there’s the importance of eating properly, getting enough sleep, and addressing any area of my life that feels uncomfortable. Too often, especially for women, the concept of self-care is confused with ‘pampering.’ We are urged to take a bubble bath, or even to go for a spa day, to unwind, relax and have some ‘me time.’ Well this is fine, and those things can help lots of people to relax, plus it’s important to have fun, but self-care covers a lot more than that.
And if we are taking care of ourselves properly, then we will want to reduce or eradicate worry. After all, if someone you love was worrying unnecessarily (and practically all worry is unnecessary) then you would want to help them stop worrying, wouldn’t you? So if we are committed to taking care of ourselves, creating a worry-resilient lifestyle is part of that. And it works both ways: the better we take care of ourselves, the more resilient we are to worry. If we have met our needs in most areas of our lives, and if we are vigilant about watching out for warning signs that we are neglecting ourselves, then we have a good fighting chance at getting rid of worry.
How do I know all this? For the past year, I have been working, rather successfully, at living without worry despite some large life problems, and I have also been learning as much as I can about how we can live worry-free. I’ve talked about worry, asked people about worry, read about it and lived as a worry guinea pig myself. I’m desperate to share what I have learned because it has turned my life around and it can work for anyone! If you’d like to find out more, keep in touch with the progress of my book, and be part of my anti-worry community, please sign up for my newsletter. There’s a link below. And if you have questions, please comment, send me an email, or send a direct message. I’d love to hear from you!
What a fabulous post! I doubt any of us women would fail to find something in it we could relate to! We so often think that neglecting ourselves in order to be there for others is the right thing to do and many learn, too late, that if we don’t take care of ourselves first, we won’t be there for everyone else! And yes, we all worry, despite the fact that, on a conscious level, we know it serves no purpose! Thank you for sharing so much of yourself!
Thanks for your comment Sheri.
I also love the simple power of walking, both for physical and mental health!
I’ve found that visiting other blogs is good reading material for inspiration, although there is nothing quite the feel of a real book in my view!
Cheers,
Gordon
Thanks Gordon, I agree that physical books are the most satisfying type of reading, but I enjoy the immediacy and intimacy of reading other blogs, too.
As Shakespeare wrote, “This above all else: to thine own self be true; and it follows as the night, the day, thou can not be untrue to anyone.”
Flight attendants tell us to put our own oxygen mask on first, before putting one on our children, so we will be able to care for them.
A happy, healthy, unworried person is better company for those around them and more likely to contribute to society.
Thank you – that’s one of my favourite Shakespeare passages. Thanks for making great points.
I hadn’t really seen it like that before. Yes self care doesn’t only mean pampering – thanks for that. I still have a way to go on this one the biggest need I know is to get outside everyday yet I allow my busy to do list keep me from being in the garden. Small steps. I am planning just half an hour a day at the moment and see how that goes. X
Or just try five or ten minutes if that’s more achievable…good luck x
I love the idea of anti-worry Harriet! I shall practice that this week too. Have a great week,
Lyn x
Thanks Lyn! You too x
What a wonderful post, Harriet. I hope you don’t mind me printing it off and using it to take care of me. I think taking care of ourselves is so important – we have physical, spiritual, mental and pure joyous parts of us, that need care and exercise daily! xx
Oh how lovely of you Caroline. It makes me very happy if anything I say is helpful x
I like the reminder that self-care is more than just a spa or lighting candles. Learning how to focus on what’s working and gives us joy instead of what is worrying us is a great tip. I can relate to so much of what you have pointed out.
Thank you. Yes I think we can believe we are taking care of ourselves because we have our nails done etc but we are actually neglecting more important aspects of our lives. Thanks for commenting.