I’ve spent all of my life thinking. It’s one of the things I do best. In fact, a few years ago, when it finally occurred to me that I deserved to be happy, and I asked myself, ‘when were you happiest?’ the answer was, ‘at university.’ And it wasn’t to do with the social life or the extra-curricular activities; it was the delicious indulgence of having to think and learn and stretch my brain. So I went back to do my master’s degree.
But something happened in that year. I loved the learning, the analysis, the intellectual challenge, but when I had written my dissertation and others had read it, I found that there was value in more than just the content. Beyond the subject matter, I found creativity, originality and tenacity that I didn’t know I possessed. Although I was asked if I wanted to go on and do a PhD, something I would once have jumped at, I decided that the path I needed to take was the creative one. This was also destined to be an opportunity for me to share my spiritual interests, which had until then been unobtrusive.
Because at the same time I was starting to learn, through an enormous trial and even more enormous blessing that I affectionately call my Big Problem, that too much thinking is bad for you. I had always believed that it was good to think and that if you had a problem you should tackle it intellectually, until a Perfect Storm of problems entered my life and I found that thinking only made them worse.
This was when I started on my journey away from worry and I learned about resilience. You can read more in my older blog posts, especially the ones with Big Problem in the title. The book is on its way as well.
Meanwhile, I tell as many people as I can, especially the ones who, like I used to, tend to live mainly in their heads, about the value of thinking less. Listen to my Chirbit recording here if you feel this might be relevant to you. Honestly, there is so much more to life than thinking. There are so many solutions that are nothing to do with logic or rational thought. And there is so much more to a human being than her or his mind. Oh, and that’s where we start to find limitless sources of joy, love, peace…..
I really enjoyed reading this post.
Like you Harriet, I also used to ‘think’ I was at my happiest ‘thinking’. It is only very recently I have worked hard at stopping thinking and just be doing instead.
I am self-employed and in a profession that requires a lot of thinking, and that’s okay. But what has happened for me is that behaviour completely spilled over into my personal life and I spent all my waking hours ‘thinking’. By thinking, I don’t mean day-dreaming or what to get from the shops for tea, I mean the sort of thinking that exhausts you.
Like you, I have a Masters degree in a thinking subject and this of course qualified and gave me license to ‘carry on thinking’.
You stopped thinking when the Big problem came along. I stopped thinking when cancer came along. It was a difficult learned behaviour to break but I did it by taking up artistic hobbies. I have learned to play the banjo rather well, I do water-colour painting and have now started quilting. All these pastimes are absorbing but do not require thinking, they are tactile pastimes that use my hands and my senses rather than the over-worked grey matter.
You are right, we do deserve to be happy, and we can’t think ourselves happy, we have to do actions that make us feel happy.
Love
Juliana x
Thank you Juliana. As so often what you share is moving and I am honoured that you say it here. I love what you say about your pastimes and how they have helped. I have bought a colouring book – several of us in the family love colouring – and now seem to be embarking on the pursuit of making simple jewellery. At least I have a bracelet to mend which will require me to buy enough bits and pieces that my long held intention to fiddle a bit with beads and wire will be a real possibility! xx
Harriet I can so relate to this post! As a child I decided that it was safer to live from the head than from the heart. I managed quite well. However when my marriage ended I found myself thinking ‘well that didn’t work’ I had done it all as I was supposed to. Got married, had children, worked hard, been a nurturing and supportive wife all while following my head, my should. So I made a conscious decision to follow my heart from that day forward.
Gosh it was a messy start! I had no idea what I was doing lol.
Eventually I found a sense of balance between the two and life became a bit smoother. Although I would also be happy to be a student forever, I love learning also, I now find that I approach learning from a more creative angle. It is an ongoing journey of learning isn’t it and wow what a journey x
Thank you so much for sharing your experience Kama. Nice to know I am not alone in taking this route! :-)
Great article, I found when I stopped thinking with my head and followed my heart, I became much happier as well.
So true! Thank you for taking the time to comment. :-)
This hits home. I am a notorious worrier, tending to get stuck in my head. It has taken a lot of conscious lightening up my thoughts to be where I am now. There is soooo much more to tackling challenges than intellectually focusing on them. It takes letting go and allowing. I am so glad I learned this.
It’s still a challenge, a process. Thanks for the insightful post. xo
Thank you for your comment. I hope you will find some of my subsequent posts helpful x
I think it must be the default human condition…stay in your head worrying and over-thinking everything, and then wonder why that isn’t working out so well. I much prefer letting go and the peace and ease which you can then live your life through is much preferable…when I remember! Loved this post. Andrea
It’s very common; I’m not sure it’s natural. I think we have educated ourselves into believing that intellect rules and everything else is frivolous. And as you say the important thing, even when we know what works best, is to remember. Hopefully talking about it more will help us all!
Someone once told me I was addicted to learning. Like that is a bad thing. As if.. I don’t need that kind of negativity in my life :P
Absolutely! Learning is a wonderful thing. :-)